May 17, 2020, I am on a morning walk near the pond in Uxbridge. I was hoping that there might be a human to talk to. Instead, there was a Canada Goose. He said that his name was 'Soren Twist,' but I think he was a liar. I don't trust geese. They know too much that they never let on.
Are you in love?
"Chhhhhhhhhh. Keep your ass away from me because I will fuck you up...oh. Love. Chhhhhhhhh...creatures are never not in love."
Who has been the most important person in your life?
"There was a guy last year who gave me a sandwich. There was turkey on it, so that was kind of weird...chhhhhhhhh. Generally all people are annoying. My mate Shasta and I roll our eyes a lot, isn't that right Shasta! Oh, chhhhhhhhh...she's a bit off 'cause she ate a cigarette butt, again."
How do you feel about the future?
"We are loving this pandemic. You people are always so many, and also everywhere that it's crazy-making. Now, with you all doing the distancing thing, we can finally relax a little. Tired of stepping in your garbage though. Shasta stopped having headaches; I might get lucky again! Just because I'm a Canada Goose doesn't mean that I don't have needs."