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The Thing of It

Posted in Adventures With Humans

The Thing of It.

This ‘living’ shouldn’t be so hard. Are we so rigid in our psyche, compelled by some dynamic ghost to protect our ego at every turn, leaving us emotionally shuttered? Is it too scary, too much wind blowing through for us to risk the openness that allows us to truly see ‘the other?’ It is this risk, this ‘seeing’ with curiosity that seeds the sincere gladness that the other exists, that you’re both alive at this time on the planet; here blooms the love of humanity. The two of you might not agree on whatever the spoken topic, but still, with this love as foundation, there can be beauty and respect. This is what makes the world fascinating; we can agree to disagree and still call each other friend.
I’ve experienced the rigidness, the shutteredness more often recently as if a virus, and so many conversations, like living entities of their own, suffer in their struggles to thrive. The fear of openness arrives in lock-step with lack of curiosity–an aversion to considering from the other’s perspective. Flawed as we all are, our work is to gently, gently show up in such a way that the other may in a moment, realize that they are the only one still with their sword drawn.

In the thick of it, it’s helpful to wonder which myth we might be battling over, and how the hollered divisiveness of it serves anything except to tick time. Disagreement, debate is useful, necessary when it serves to drill down and clarify a problem; everyone benefits unless the intent at the outset, instead of true seeing, is a juvenile need to win no matter what. In the seeing, any obstacle can be overcome often because in such a thoughtful process, the obstacle itself changes, morphs into something less divisive, possibly even ridiculous.

Viktor Frankel said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Social media does not want this. It would rather you fire off and post indiscriminately, but this is a disservice to us.  “The world ‘is’ other people, your neighbors, and both they and you exist–if the circumstances allow–because of love.”  Lindsey Stonebridge, “We Are Free to Change the World.” Rigidness drives us to sequester in thought silos at our detriment and the detriment of the collective. Part of taking back our freedom is reclaiming our relationships with each other, to stretch out of the silo as if to feel the sun, our birthright.  Now, while the world spins into chaos, this reclaiming is not only brave, but an act of service. To find yourself in that space, that pause, is to have access to an opportunity loaded with potential for positive change despite the dogma, or whatever narrative has lead you to it. Any time works. Now would be good. Now is best.